that should be interesting.


haha, i dont think the english teacher likes me too much...i don't understand why people mind so much that i read really fast. it's not like i just sit there and stare at text, i guess it's just faster for me to lock data into my brain and soak in information, and she just doesn't get that...i really miss mrs. jaeger. a lot. and i love english, but i hate the teacher. but not with mrs. jaeger, 'cause it was different.



oh, to be back in 8th grade.

i wish, kindof.
but then again, no. because this year is really shaky, and things are breaking...but i'm kinding of building this wall in front of myself where things don't affect me as much. i just have to breathe through it and get away from the problem and it's over...i delete it from my mind. and i don't know whether that's good or not...but i'm hoping i can find someone to deal with and talk to without this wall in front of me. this big, ugly, girl's bathroom style wall. and i want to break it really bad but i can't, because i know i'll do something bad.

like a couple days ago, abby and i were talking about how we could/would commit suicide, and it's so easy, and everything's right here, and i've gone over all the details, and im trying and trying to not think about it but it's THERE, and it's REAL, and i'm scared.








sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep, i'm tired and i want to go to bed. sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep, and then leave me alone. don't try to wake me in the morning, cause i will be gone. don't feel bad for me, i want you to know deep in the cell of my heart i will feel so glad to go.